


God Dammit, Gabriel

by Huldra



Series: God Dammit, Gabriel! [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: April Fools, Body Swap, Bodyswap, Crack, Dean Winchester - Freeform, First work - Freeform, Gabriel - Freeform, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Gen, Kinda, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Winged Dean, castiel - Freeform, crackfic, gabriel being mischevious, i guess, idfk what I'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1495885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huldra/pseuds/Huldra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's April's Fools, and Dean (makes the huge mistake to) call Gabriel to help him trick the shit outta Sam. But of course, the arch angel has his own kind of screwed-up humour…</p><p>AKA the adventures of Dean not thinking through stuff.</p><p> </p><p>(rated for all the swearing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Idea, Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> My first work ;u; I'm sorry for the bad english, tho ;3; But yeah. I love body swap fics, and I don't know why.  
> So, Happy Easter folks! I'm actually not religious, but who says no to an easter egg.

Gabriel was laughing his ass off. Dean just hanged up the phone, after asking him for a small favour. 

 

"Sure Dean-o! With pleasure! But I decide the details, deal~?"

"Sure, sure. Just don't tell Sammy, it would ruin everything" Dean sighed.

 

The archangel grinned and swore solemnly that he wouldn't tell the younger brother. 

 

"I'll swing by tomorrow morning and explain it all. You see, I have some simple rules, nothing to worry about."

Dean should really know that you can't trust an angelic trickster the day before April the 1st. 

 

 

 

\------------*^*------------

 

 

 

Poor Castiel is very confused. He was walking around in London, searching for some rare herb, before he was suddenly summoned.

The last thing he remembers is staring at his brother's smug face, saying sorry for reasons Castiel don't know. 

 

 

\------------*^*-------------

 

 

"RISE AND SHINE, BIG DAY, BIIIIIG DAY" Gabriel's chirping to the somewhat sleeping angel and his charge. 

 

Dean, forever the look-a-like of Grumpy Cat when waking up, grunts his disapproval of being waked before the birds shits in the morning. 

Castiel, on the other hand, is just very confused why he had even /slept/ at all.

 

 

"Okay guys," Gabriel's talking like he just won his own weight in candy at a fair. "Today's the day mr. Winchester over here, asked me to help him trick the hell outta Sam~!" Dean is starting to suspect someone coated the archangel's lollipop with some party drug. He's just, well, sounding TOO happy. 

 

 " _Rule #1_ : no telling Sam."

It's too early in the morning for this shit, and Dean begins to think about how he can mute the angel.

 

 " _Rule #2_ : Dean, sorry, but it's pretty hard to stop my mouth against my will, thank you."

 Dean is suddenly very awake, and is currently swearing like he gets paid for each word he says. Of course the douche of an Arch Angel would read his goddamn mind.

 

 "Calm yo tits, Dean-o, you wanted this." Something about Gabriel's grin makes Dean very uneasy.

"You know what, I could give you tits instead, if that suits you better! Hmmm, maybe next year…" 

 

 " _Rule #3_ : Play your part! Or there will be consequences!" Gabriel winks and adds "This is going to be so much fun!" he says with a rather unangelic squeal. "Dean Winchester starring as Castiel, an Angel of the Lord!"

 He turns and smiles at Castiel doing his trademark head tilt. "And Castiel, starring as Dean Winchester, a (what he thinks) badass hunter!"

 In a wink, Gabriel is gone, and realisation is slowly dawning upon the hunter and the angel.

 

\----------*^*----------

 

 

"What the holy fuck of fucking fucks" 

 Dean is looking at himself, who is currently staring right back at him with a piercing stare. Talk about out of body experience.

 "Dean, I do not think fucks are holy.", his own body and voice tells him. 

 Castiel is looking at his vessel, still not quite believing what his big brother had done.

 "...We seem to have switched bodies."

 "No shit, thank you for your input, Sherlock. I didn't notice." Dean answered, the sarcastic little shit he is.

 Cas continue to stare at his vessel with Dean inside. In a totally non-dirty way.

Tilting his head, he frowns.

 

"Dean, my name is Castiel."

 The hunter lets out a frustrated, deep, sigh. 

 

 

 

\----------*^*----------

 

 

 

"Sooooo... Play our roles, huh?" Dean looks down at the body he's renting, frowning at the entire 'tax accoutant' style. 

 "You sure can't change into something that doesn't melt my ass away?"

 

 "I don't think your ass would-"

 "You know what I mean!"

 

 "Would you begin to wonder if I, in my correct vessel, would wear anything else?" Castiel asks looking seriously at Dean, clearly seeing how at unease he is.

 "Yes, of course I wo-"

 "Then do not change." Castiel answers him before Dean even gets the chance to finish.

 Dean is still murmuring things Castiel rather not repeat as Sam is slowly waking up.  

 

"Are you ready to play your role?" Dean whispers.

 Castiel nods once. He's been studying Dean's behaviour for a long time now, how hard could it be to do as he do?

 

"So what are you two whispering about?"

Cas turns his stare to Sam as said man spoke.

 

"Nothing 'Sammy'."

 Sam gives his brother a silent glare at the nickname before rising up. It's long since he gave up on correcting Dean, he could be as stubborn as a mule if he first went for it.

After a minute or two of a silent staring competition, Sam speaks again.

 "You know, Dean, I think you've spent too much time with Cas. You're staring, you know. It's creepy." He turns to Dean, who is currently wearing the angel's vessel. "No offense, Cas."

 "None taken." Dean tried with his best 'confused angel' look.

 Sam couldn't stop the grin playing at his lips. The angel looked like he was struggling, for some reason.

 

Weird.


	2. Impressive, Cas

"Cas, what the hell are you doing, man?!"  
Castiel is staring with a serious frown into the mirror.  
"I still count as an angel, Dean."  
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, CAS HOW MANY TIMES- you know what, dont take that last part seriously, it's an expression."

Dean can literally /see/ on his expression that Castiel was about to comment that Jesus died virgin, or some shit. 

"I am just counting the freckles on this vessel's nose."  
Cas frowns.  
"I've counted as many as 23 until you decided to accompany me here in this bathing facility."

"You know, that 'vessel' is my body, so watch your mouth, angel boy."  
"And, I don't talk like that." He chooses to ignore that Cas was /counting his fricking freckles/.

Castiel switch his attention over to Dean.  
"That reminds me, I still have my Grace, which can make this a little tough. If Sam asks you to use 'angel mojo'-"

"Dude, I don't wanna think about that right now. I'm just gonna try to make the best out of this situation, and use this body to fuck with Sammy's head."

Dean turns on his heel, about to leave, when an idea hits him.

"Come, 'Dean'. I'll learn you how to act your part."

 

\----------------*^*---------------

"First of all, I don't stare. It's a no-no. Just don't."

The angel and his charge sits on one of the queen-sized beds, the one closest to the door. Dean always claims that one, as his big brother-instincts just doesn't feel at ease if Sam would lay where an enemy would hit first.

"And can you even swear?! You gotta do something about your language if you're gonna pass as me. And don't sit so straight. My back is aching just by looking at you.  
And go take a leak once or twice. It's unnatural to not do it. But don't actually do it. Please. I don't want you touching my more holy parts.  
And remember to eat. You probably don't need it now either, but if 'Dean' doesn't eat, Sam will probably drive you to the nearest hospital as the girl he is, and-"

"Dean."  
"Hm?"  
"Stop. I know all of this, I've studied you for years. Your every single move."  
"Dude… That's creepy."  
"I raised you from hell," Castiel continues as if Dean never commented. "I've seen your soul. I've rebuilt you, and we share a profound bound."  
"Please don't call it that…"  
"It's what it is."

The two sits in silence for a little while. None of them really knows where to continue.  
So they just end up with sitting staring at the opposite wall. And that's how Sam finds them when he enters the motel room.

"I brought some burgers- uhm, Dean? Are you alright? Castiel?"

Both their heads snaps up. Castiel, as the quickminded being he is (if he wants to), stands up and, to Dean's suprise, /grins/. Grins! Dean just stares at him in confusion, and by doing so, accidently plays his role good enough at this moment for an A+.

"You better also have bought pie, or I'm going to get Cas here to smite your sorry ass!"

This leaves Dean to imitate a magikarp. Not really very Castiel-ish.

"Uhm, Dean, is your angel alright? Can angels get strokes?" Sam is nervously gesturing towards what he sees as Castiel.  
The real Castiel, however, huffs.  
"Fucking dick of an angel..."

"I heard that!" Dean exclaims, suddenly recovered from the slight state of shock he was in only one minute ago.

"Cas, are you okay, man?"  
Castiel, that smug little fucker.

"I'm not a man, I'm an angel of the Lord." Dean is struggling to restrain from smiling.

Sam, of course, won't let it slide that easy. He sits down besides Dean in Cas' body, and actually /pats his back/. "Is your Grace being withheld a little again? I'm sorry for the inconviniences Dean is causing you."  
Dean just stares at Sam with big eyes. Did his brother just-?!  
Nevermind.

"I'm not causing Cas anything. He chose to be here by his own will." Castiel should seriously get an Oscar. Like seriously.  
Dean on the other hand...

Sam rolls his eyes. "Yeah yeah, sure. Let's just eat, I'm starving."

 

\-----------*^*----------

 

If Sam hadn't known better, he would think that Castiel was sick.  
When he and Dean ate their burgers, Cas was staring quite hard, harder than usual, on the food.  
Sam can swear he heard his stomach rumble, too.  
And he didn't flutter away to God knows where like he usually does either. 

So Sam ended up keeping a close eye on Castiel.


	3. The Game is On

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, Gabriel is sitting in his hotel room, president suite of course, and watching Dean and Cas. He finds it a little too, well, boring.  
"Let's spice this shit up!"

 

\-----------*^*----------

 

"Cas, I can see your wings."  
"Huh?" The real Castiel turns, around looking at his back.  
"Uhm, Dean, he's over there..."  
Well, Dean blushing isn't something you see everyday.  
Even though it isn't Dean. Technically.

Dean frowns. He's currently Cas. Which means...  
Oh fuck.  
Turning around, he sees a pair of huge, black, new appendages. He can swear on the Impala that they were not there before. Pinkie promise.  
Carefully, he tries to move them. Fuck fuck fucketi fuck.  
They're actually moving.   
Dean has wings.  
Huge, black wings.  
Connected to his back.   
Time to freak out.

Cas is freezed still. He still have his wings, they're in a different plane of excistence, as they always are.  
Then why-  
The answer hits him before he gets to finish the thought.  
Gabriel.

Cas meets Dean's eyes, which are full of panic. Pleading for an answer.  
"Gabriel" Cas mouths behind Sam's back to Dean.

He makes his way over to Dean quick, and begins to straighten some feathers that are askew.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam sounds shocked.  
"It looked like it hurt. The feathers"  
Castiel looked down at Dean. (Yes, down, which Castiel secretly finds great pleasure in.) He has his eyes closed, as the wings were much less uncomfortable now. They almost feel natural, for some weird reason.

Castiel took that as an approval, and continued with the wing-care, despite Sam's weird looks.

 

\---------*^*---------

 

"So, Cas, why exactly can we see your wings?" Sam asks after the whole thing just became too awkard.

"Hmmm..."   
This is Dean's chance. His chance to make Cas uncomfortable. To make /Sam/ uncomfortable.

"It's what you mortals would call 'mating adornment', I believe."   
Ahh, their faces. Priceless.   
Sam is refusing to meet his gaze, looking like his pants just dropped down in public, while Cas looks like a tomato. Dean knows he's gonna pay for this later, but hell, a man gotta have some fun!  
And Sammy will never know.

So Dean spreads out his wings (God, how weird isn't /that/!) and creeps toward Cas. Putting on his best predatory expression.  
"Dean, I raised you from perdition. Time for you to repay me by deepen our profound bond."

Dean really wish he had a camera right now. This time it was Cas' turn to take the role of fish on land.  
He have to thank Gabriel for this. He may be the king douchebag of douches, but at least he knows how to have a good time. 

Dean touches Castiel on the shoulder, where he knows there should be a handprint. In the next second, he's in a meadow with Cas.  
He releases Cas in a matter of nanoseconds.

"Where the hell are we?!"  
"WHAT WAS ALL THAT?!" Wow, Cas can really shout if he wants to. Dean smirks.   
"Hey, I panicked! And that's my way to deal with panic, I joke it away! No hard feelings, ok?"  
"NO HARD FEELINGS?", Cas roared.  
"Dude, chill. You're not the one growing some freaking wings!"

Castiel shifts his attention to the wings.  
"They are identical to mine." Obviously, the rage was all shock, and easy to forget about.

"Just another proof that this is Gabriel's work. If you really grew wings, they would not look like mine."  
Cas runs a hand through the feathers, seemingly lost in thought. "I wonder how yours would have looked... Perhaps some golden/brown colour... With a hint of green, maybe."

"Sorry to interrupt your creepy little monologue, but what about Sammy?! He just saw his /brother/ poof away!" 

"No Dean, for him it looked like Castiel took his brother with him on the 'angel express'. Toot toot."  
Dean can't believe his own ears.

"Dude, is being in my body affecting you?"  
"Maybe, at least I feel an urge for revenge. Two can play this game."  
"Count me in. The game is on, 'mr. Winchester'"


	4. Warfare

Back in the motel room again, the war's about to start. Sam can feel the mood change once his brother and his angel reappears in the room. "Please keep me out of whatever's happening." He turns to 'Dean'. "Dean, if you care about me at all, you'll spare me."

Castiel looks up at Sam. "Sammy. Sit down." Sam complies, and Castiel sits down besides him. Puts a hand on his shoulder, for good measure.   
Then he says, with an all serious expression:  
"Sam. I just want you to know, that I have genital herpes. Just like that commercial Gabriel made you do. I just want you to know the truth."

Both Sam and Dean is staring at Cas, in complete shock.   
"Can't your angel just cure you?" Sam asks quietly after some good 2 minutes of silence.  
"No, Cas said some shit about 'some thing are beyond repair', like the douche he is."

Dean snaps out of confusion and shock at this, and launches himself at Cas. "You little-!"  
"Cas, get off me you freak!"  
He pushes Dean away, and brushes invisible dust of his clothes.  
"Angel hormones, or some shit, I guess."

 

\----------*^*---------

Every chance Sam has to leave the room, he takes it. No fucking way he's gonna watch his brother having an epic bitchfight with an angel of the Lord.   
So he leaves for the town's library, mumbling about some research for a nonexistent case.

 

\------------*^*------------

 

"Ok, that's it, you win. You beat Dean Winchester. Angel my ass, you are the slyest little fucker I've ever had the misfortune of meeting.   
You know, the 'I once shoved a pie up my butt' thing was WAY over the line, man." Dean huffed.

With a grin of victory on his face, the angel sat down in a chair. 

"What the fuck happened to the real Cas..." Dean murmurs, wings ruffling. 

"Can you hide them?"  
"Hide what" Dean sneers, still miserable from his defeat.   
"Your wings."  
"Don't call them that. They're not mine."  
"Well, they are after all sprouting out of your back."  
Dean cringes at that.

Cas rises, and walks over to Dean. In a blink, Cas' vessel is standing with bare chest with a surprised expression on his face.  
"Why did you-?!"  
"Relax, Dean, and sit down."  
Dean does as he's told, with Cas sitting behind him.   
"Dude, this is kinda gay."  
Cas tilts his head in a confused manner.  
Dean sighs.  
Angels.

"I do not have a gender, so how can this be gay?"  
"Please, for the love of friggin' God, stop using my voice and face for your weirdass comments!"  
"I do not really have a choice here, and this is all your fault, Dean."

 

\-----------*^*-----------

 

When Sam came back, he found Castiel sleeping in Dean's arms. How Dean didn't throw a bitchfit, remains a mystery to Sam.

"Dean, are you sure Cas is okay? He said angels doesn't sleep, didn't he?"  
"Relax, Sam. Poor guy has probably never slept before."  
"But he's an /angel/, Dean!"  
"Shut it, bitch."  
God, how tired Castiel is from pretending to be Dean.


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy get's to know the truth

Dean woke up in Cas' lap from his stomach roaring in protest.  
"Sammy, fetch me a pie, will ya?"  
The rumbling, deep voice coming out, though, makes him sit straight up.  
He'd forgot about the body swap.

Sam throws his best 'are you fucking kidding with me' bitch face.  
"Cas, you know, Dean is not a good teacher to learn human behaviour from."  
"Ok, I'll keep that in mind", he grumbles. 

 

\----------*^*----------

 

While eating dinner, Castiel pushes a piece of the pizza towards Dean. Sam, looking puzzles, is watching with interest whether 'Castiel' would accept the slice or not.  
He didn't expect however that he would literally launch himself at it and push it inside his mouth in one piece, wings perking up at rustle from excitement.  
Sam's pretty sure he wouldn't be surprised if the angel was high or something.

"So you can get hungry after all, 'mr. I don't require sustenance'?"  
Castiel and Dean sighs in union. Screw Gabriel, this is harder than threading a needle with no fingers.  
They share a look, and silently agrees. 

"I am not your brother, Sam."  
At Sam's panicky look, Dean continues.  
"Not in that way, chillax, we're bro's. You're not adopted or some shit.  
What me means is that he's not Dean. I am."

It's quiet for a minute or two.

"Ha. Ha ha ha! You really think I would fall for that! Cas, good job at talking like Dean, though, you almost had me for a second there."

"I am Castiel, angel of the Lord. I've existed since before humanity was even created by my Father. Why do you not believe I'm Castiel?" Dean's voice said.  
Sam turn to his brother, but stops when he sees Dean.

Behind his brother's back there are two huge shadows in the shape of wings. "Bu-but! What?! How?! But Cas-?! Wings?" Sam is so confused, it feels like his brain is about to explode.

"Gabriel" Dean in Cas answered as an explanation.

"Oh." Sammy's not suprised.

 

\----------*^*----------

 

Still in Vegas, Gabriel's laughing his ass off. Now he have a legitimate reason to fuck around with his little brother and his human.  
Oh joy~!

 

\-----------*^*-----------

 

7 minutes later, Dean got a text.  
"Guys, it's Gabriel."

Dean and Castiel had just explained the entire situation to Sam, who's still currently in the middle of a laughing fit. They're never gonna hear the end of it, /that/ Sam ensures. 

"It says here: 'Hello ladies, a little bird whispered in my ear that you 2 fucked up. And I said it would be consequences, didn't I~? Toodeloo' with a crap ton of emoji's, like this little lollipop. Damn trickster..." "We need to brace ourselves for his revenge, Dean." But Dean's way too busy grumbling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello c: How are you? Wow! Almost a 100 views, omg ;w; I'm so happy ;3; And 4 kudo's! Thank youuuu c: Again, sorry for my horrible english, please bear with me ^^' I'm only doing this to practice to my english final really c: Sorry for babbling, bye, ily all ;3;


	6. Flirting 101

"Only some few hours again until midnight~" Dean sings out.  
"Soon I'm in my own body again~"

"Sorry to break it to you, Cas- uhm Dean, but the clock is only 4 pm..."  
"Sam the Party Pooper..." Dean's light mood is gone. "I'm just trying to be positive here!"

 

\-----------*^*----------

 

"I'm hungryyyyy!"  
"We just ate, Dean."  
"Well, then get some more."  
"I'm not going out again, do it yourself!"  
As to prove a point, Dean's wings shifted.  
"Kinda hard, Sammy."  
"Too bad."

"Here, Dean." Castiel hands Dean the tan trenchcoat Dean had shredded off once they told Sam. He also changed into his own clothes, which were too big for him now. He'd dressed up in an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt which had shrunk a little in the washing machine.   
To Dean's horror, Cas cut out a hole for his wings.   
Eventually he forgave him, as he reasoned he couldn't normally use it anyway.  
He's still wearing the dress pants though, as his own didn't fit him. A quite odd combination.

"Huh?"  
"To hide your wings."  
"Oh." 

Dean slides on the trenchcoat. "Do they show?"  
"A little at the bottom, just the longest flight feather. But you don't really notice it against the black pants.   
"I feel like a dork in this."  
"Do I, when in my rightful vessel that is, look like a dork too?"  
"Oh yeah, that's right... It looks fine on you, I guess."  
"Then let's go."  
"Heyheyhey, dude, you're not walking out in /that/ looking like me."  
"Why not?"

It wasn't only Dean who had changed outfit, Castiel had also done it.  
So Dean's body is currently wearing his federal suit for no apparent reason.

"You're in a suit! It's not, well, 'normal'"  
"But I feel 'at home' in it."  
"How can you feel 'at home' when you are in my body?!"  
"Dean, you might do well to remember that I do not have my own body here at earth. I'm in a vessel."  
"Ok, I get it, but you're still in a suit!"  
"Well, you changed my vessel's clothes, so I believe we are even."  
"...At least loose the tie and get into some jeans."

 

\----------*^*----------

 

After a slight discussion, Dean and Cas is now sitting in a booth at the local diner.   
Castiel tagged along 'to keep Dean company'.  
Gosh, they are so gay, it's cute.  
Anyway, Dean can't stop hitting on every good looking girl, no matter what body he's in. 

"Dude, you are handsome, you should use it more!"  
"Why?"  
"To get some action!"  
"I get a lot of 'action'. I kill demons almost on daily basis."  
Dean groans.  
"You're still virgin, aren't ya."  
Castiel rolls his eyes (woah there).  
"Yes. Do we have to have this conversation again?"  
"Fine…"

"What may I get you?" a waitress appears, and winks to them both.  
Her hair is wavy and brown, and her name tag says Helen.  
"What do you recommend, sugar?" /Castiel/, of all people, answers.  
Dean's jaw almost hits the table. Did the angel just say that?!

"The pancakes here are delicious," she drawls.   
"Then we'll take that, honey. My cousin here and I just came all the way from Britain, we're gonna live 'the american dream' for some weeks. Any chance you want to join us?" Where the hell did that come from, and wow, that's one hella good british accent.  
"Maybe," she winks and leaves.

It takes Dean a full minute to be able to talk again.  
"WHAT THE HELL, CAS!?"  
"Do not shout, Dean."  
"What was the meaning of all that!?"   
"You were thinking that I would be unable to flirt. I was just proving you wrong."  
Dean grumbles something about damn mind reading angels.  
"Flirting is very easy." Cas has this very grave expression, way too serious for this discussion. "I've studied your behaviour, and found out that the female specimen is easily flattered by good-looking men calling them for some sweet subtenance."   
As an afterthought, he added: "Some finds it quite unsettling, though…."

Dean grins. He's been a good master for the virgin angel. "Wow, well, that's impressing. And why did you say we are british? I didn't even know you could lie."  
"Of course I can lie, Dean. I lie frequently to you and Sam." He says matter-of-factly. "Why I said we are british, is because Helen Michelle Barnes have a 'tumblr blog', as it's called, where she 'blogs' about british men, especially actors."

"…Well, that's hella creepy, man. You just searched her brain or something!? And where did you learn about blogging?"  
"Sam told me about it."  
"Oh."  
It's silent for a while.  
"…How did you learn to speak in such a convincing british accent?"  
"I'm an angel, Dean, I can speak every language and every accent perfectly."  
"Ok…"

"Your pancakes, boys!"  
"Thank you, Helen."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter c:

Well back at the motel, Dean's still shocked over Cas' little performance at the diner.  
Cas had chatted lively, impersonating Dean extremely well, leaving Dean unable to say anything.   
Helen had talked a little to Dean to, about his home in Britain, but upon seeing Dean's horrified face, Cas answered for him.   
Dean just didn't want to blow their cover with his horrible accent, and he had never been to England, so how could he describe it?

"So, did you freak anyone out with your fluffy, girly, angel wings~?"  
That comment earned Sam a glare from both Dean and Castiel.  
"They're not girly" the hunter mumbled.   
The angel nodded his agreement. 

 

\----------------*^*----------------

 

"Hey Dean, Cas, it's 9 pm. April Fools is soon over. Only 3 more hours to go now."  
"Hale-fucking-luja! No offense, Cas, but I prefer my own body. My wingless body. And it's hella weird looking at myself, when not looking in a mirror that is."  
"None taken, Dean. I also prefer my rightful vessel. But I must admit, I find it rather entertaining to watch you having your emotions on display like that. Easier to see when you joke or not."  
"Wait what?"  
"The wings. Can be pretty useful. But sometimes you're sending out signals of affection when I'm talking to you, it confuses me a little."

Poor Sam can't breathe anymore, he's laughing so hard.  
Dean, on the other hand, blushes and stomps out of the room, towards his beloved Impala.

 

\----------------*^*----------------

 

"Did I say something wrong? He's upset." Cas frowns"  
"No no no, you didn't do anything," Sam finally got his breath back.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah, just too much 'feel-talk' for him, he'll be fine."

"Sam, you do realize you are staring?"  
Sam scratches his neck. "Sorry Cas, but this is quite weird for me too, you see. I mean, I see my brother's face, hear his voice, but still its just so… Castiel-ish. Though you actually tricked me when you actually tried to ac like him. You've really done your research!"  
"So I've been told."

 

\-----------------*^*----------------

"Cas, can you come here a little?"  
"What is it Sam?"  
Dean is still sitting in the impala, downing down some bottles of beer.  
"Can you do me a favour?"

 

\---------------*^*--------------

 

So now Cas is laying on the bed, on his stomach, bare chested, feet crossed, holding a copy of Twilight while Sam's camera flashes without stop.

"Why did you want me to do this, Sam?"  
The hunter grins. "You have no idea how happy this makes me."   
"Can you move over to the sofa, Cas? I believe Desperate Housewives' running on the TV now."

 

\----------------*^*---------------

 

When Dean finally enters the room, he's as sober as a russian on New Years Eve. 

AKA drunk as fuck.

"Schup?"  
"Dean, you are intoxicated."  
"God, not again…"

"whaaaaaaat?"  
"Sit down, Dean."  
"You're fighting a battle you'll lose, Cas, give up…"  
"Schut it, Sammy."  
*insert Sam groaning here*

 

\--------------*^*-------------

 

"No more alcohol while in my vessel, Dean." is all Cas manages to say before having to duck out of the way from a wing swishing over his head. Again.

"You're not my boss!"  
"Dean, it's only one hour left now. You should start to slow down on the beverages."

Dean is currently sitting curled up on the bathroom floor, wings cocooning him, cradling a bottle of jack in both hands. "Cassss, you're cool, but don't get in between me and my babiesss." Dean slurs.  
"That is bottles, not infants."

"Give up, Cas…" Sam says from the main room.

 

\------------*^*------------

Dean eventually passed out on the bathroom. Cas, sighing, lifted him up and laid him down in his bed. Just as Dean's head hit the pillow, the clock striked 12, and the curse was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or is it?  
> I'll make this into a series :D  
> Hint: You'll get to know Gabe's little revenge c:


End file.
